Beauty In The Breakdown
by ObessedTWFan
Summary: It's all right, cause theres beauty in the breakdown. GregSara friendship. Chapter 6. Complete.
1. Drink Up, Baby Down

**A/N:** Been feeling a bit ticked off lately, my family to blame, -when its not then thats shocking. Then I started to think, Greg would be at least just a little bit pissed off, if he ever found out, not that he would come right out and say it, but he would furious, I know I would be. Thoughts Greg are thinking are in italics and everything else is normal. And I just hate when people ask me if I'm mad more than once, that and asking if I'm okay, I would tell you if I wasnt okay! Going to be some chapters long, not too sure on how long. But this is just the chapter to ease into things. Things are going to get just a bit darker.

* * *

"You're not mad?" Sara asked casually reaching for her coffee, she'd ordered the coffee out of habit, not used to eating such late in the day or early depending on how she looked at it. 

_At you no, never, me yes, furious, mad enough to spit fire_

"Why would I be mad? All I ever wanted was for you to be happy" the words sounded fake even to him

_With Me not Him_

"I just thought... never mind it's silly" Sara glanced down at her salad, which she poked a tomato, sending the juice squirting onto the rest of her lettuce.

"Tell me" he spoke calmly, on the inside the fire was growing slowly consuming him, he was sick of himself, for not acting sooner, before, _well before you know…. _

_Before she slept with the boss?_

_Good Boy Greg_

"It's silly really, I just thought you had some crush on me all these years" Sara confessed, glancing down once again to hide the pink tinge appearing on the apples of her cheeks.

_I did, and still do, but it's not a crush anymore it's something more_

"A little infatuation at the beginning but I knew nothing would ever come from it, so I gave up" if at all possible her face features fell, it almost looked like she was disappointed. If she could rip out his heart, hold it in her hand while it's still beating, she didn't deserve to know that he yearned for her.

_Isn't that how you ended up in the first place? By not telling her._

"I'm so glad that you're not mad, I feel I'm getting stares from everyone at work, not the greatest feeling" she confided, he was the reason behind it, he let it slip when he was frustrated with the results he was just given and Nick had come strolling in looking for Sara, he had quickly said, _Prolly fucking Grissom _it was only until he looked up and seen the look Hodges had given him to know he let that little information slip.

_I wonder why, you're fucking the boss, you can't be trusted. _

"Really I hadn't noticed" he made a show of taking a bit of his sandwich, something he no longer had the appetite for, andhe had trouble swallowing it, from the news he just found out, or because it was dry was undecided. But if he had to guess, option 1 was the winner.

"How can you not? I'm getting evil glares from the techies, and the tension is another thing"

_Then maybe you shouldn't be screwing the fucking boss!_hetook a long swallow of his iced tea, so he wouldn't say anything he'd surely regret later.

"Wasn't really looking for it sorry" he couldn't meet her eyes, something that had been going on for the past week, it didn't feel right to look into her eyes - the same eyes that he could lost in, and had from afar.

"It's not like we're all over each other when we're at work"

"I don't need to know details" he replied coldly. But attempted to warm his words with a kind smile, something that felt strange to him

_You're supposed to be her friend _

_Not when she's going to give details about his body, techniques and other stuff I don't want to know about. _

_Are you scared to know?_

_No! Leave me alone and shut up!_

_What's the real reason you don't want to know?_

_It hurts okay? To know that we should be together it hurts, it kills to think of her with another name calling out Grissom's name instead of mine. Are you fucking happy now?_

_No because you're not_

"Are you sure you're not mad? I would understand if you were" she said in between bites

"Sara I'm not mad, at you or anyone, could we please finish our lunch, without you questioning me if I'm fine with you screwing our boss" he lashed out louder than usual causing the waitress to give him a look when she walked by with a coffe pot.

_Way to go Jackass! You should have put the straw in your mouth and swallowed_

_Where were you before when I was saying it? Huh? That's what I thought._

"Okay" her voice quiet as she continued to eat in silence, which would have normally bothered him, but today he just didn't feel like talking.

Especially to her.


	2. Too Busy Writing You're Tragedies

A/N: Thank you for the reviews.

* * *

"There is no way you could have not seen that" Sara stated as she placed her two evidence boxes on the nearest table, Greg following her doing the same, lost in his own world.

_Oh I saw it all right, do I care? No._

"Not looking for it sorry" his eyes remained focused on the evidence in front of him, he knew the moment he looked up and met her gaze, she would know, he was lying then it would be all over. He couldn't have that.

_Why are you always saying Sorry? It's not like you did anything_

"I feel like I have a big target tattooed on my forehead" she exclaimed as she pulled the evidence bags from there resting places.

_No it's more like, Bitch, Whore, Slut_

_GREG! She's you're best friend for Christ sakes!_

_Well then I guess she shouldn't have slept with the boss then._

_I really don't know why you're mad you two were never together, and she did know that you had the little infatuation with her, did she act on it? No. So don't be calling her names now. _

_Since when are you my mother?_

_Since you started acting like you needed one_

"Did you hear a word I just said?" Sara sarcastically remarked

"No I didn't" he replied back with the same sarcastiness

_I'm too busy having an argument with myself_

"Stop it!" he whispered loudly, attempting to clear his brain of his thoughts, it however didn't work to well

"Stop what?" Sara raised an eyebrow in confusion, as she divided the evidence into two piles.

"Never mind" he mumbled to himself as he too glanced through the folders and placing them in his own piles.

_How do you explain, It's nothing really – I'm just having an argument over you – with myself._

Some how he didn't think that would go over to well with her.

_I thought you hated her_

_When did I say that?_

_You're mad at her are you not?_

_Being mad and hating are two completely different things_

_But you have to admit deep down, you secretly hate her_

_I'm not admitting anything! Stop trying to talk with me, I need to focus before I get carted away in a straight jacket!  
_

_Baby!_

_That's enough!_

"I know you're not listening"

"No I'm not, I'm not being paid to listen to you ramble on about you getting death glares or whatever the hell you're calling them, from you're co-workers, you don't like it, you shouldn't have screwed the boss, SO GET OVER IT!" he hollered

_Way to go Sanders!_

_Why do I think that you're not cheering for me?_

_I always knew you were smart, one more slip up like that and she's going to hate you_

_Maybe it's for the best_

_For her or for you?_

_For both_

"I just assumed that you were my friend, and would want to hear what was going on in my life, sorry I was wrong" she remarked hotly and slammed her folder down on the table a little rough, sending the photos beside them onto the floor.

_Maybe I was wrong, seems like she's on the verge of hating you now_

_I really don't care. _

_Yes you do_

_No I – who am I kidding I do_

"Let me help you" he felt bad for snapping the way he did, but he had to admit, on some level, it did feel _pretty _good.

"I don't need you're help!" she snapped bending down as she picked up the photos, he bent down also, he couldn't deny the shock of electricity when her fingers brushed his in attempt to snatch the photos he held in his hand, with the ones she had already collected.

_You still got the hots for her don't you, even if you are mad at her_

_I can't turn my feelings on and off, wish I could but I can't. _

_Just admit it, who am I going to tell?_

_Fine yes I still feel something for her_

_What are you going to do about it?_

_Not a damn thing_

_She doesn't love me._


	3. It Rises With The Fall

A/N: Sorry for the short chapter, setting up for the next chapter. This is the third last chapter. _I think. _Got it planned out, but you know how things are. Maybe a sequel. Got a few ideas kicking around.

* * *

1 ½ months later

He was trying he really was, but seeing them together, separate or even a mention of their names, he wanted to punch a wall, kick something or scream at the top of his lungs.

_So Sanders what are you going to do?_

_I don't have a clue_

He let out a large sigh and stood, dumping his coffee down the drain, crumpling the paper cup, a small thud emanated from the cup hitting its target. The long night was going to get longer, he could fell it.

"Greg" 

_See what I'm talking about?_

"Nope sorry breaks over, gotta go" he slid past Sara as she walked into the break room, hoping too catch him while he was taking a deserved break.

"It's not that important, it can wait" she falsely smiled and continued on to get the motor oil they labeled coffee.

_Good cause it's never going to be_ _discussed_

"Greg" this was the voice he couldn't blow off, his boss

_The same boss that sickened him, and wanted to hit over the head with a crow bar._

_Be nice now._

_Go to hell_

"Yes sir?"

"I want you to work a double with Sara" no more words were spoken, not even a look was given in his direction when Grissom moved past, nothing, it was like he didn't exist to him. Maybe he didn't, the guy had the best woman on earth, no wonder no one else existed. At least that's how it would be with him.

_Shit. Is it too late to claim to be sick_? 

_You betcha!_

Sometimes he regretted not carrying a gun, it would come in handy in a time like this.

He was left with one option, call in reinforcements, get his brain back in control, have his feet planted firmly on the ground. He did the only thing he could think of.

He called his sister.

The _shrink._

_TBC_


	4. So Let Go, What Are You Waiting For?

A/N: Figured I should update for you loyal reviewers and those who dont, second last chapter, its going to be painful to write the last chapter. You'll see why when its done. I borrowed some diaglogue from a TV, i thought it was so cute, and sad at the same time. There will be a sequel. Enjoy!  
(Reviews are always welcomed)

* * *

Usually he would just punch in the numbers into his phone off the top of his head, but the time change and all his sister would be just arriving, or already be at work, he couldn't recall the exact time difference but he knew she was ahead of him. So he went through his long directory – why he had so many numbers in there was a mystery to him, and finally found it. _The Shrink's Work. _His sister cell and home phone were labeled as _The Shrink cell, and home. _Growing up with four sisters, and being the middle child, he had come up with nicknames for all.

Rebecca the oldest was Rabid Rebecca, work, cell and home. She was never more than a stare away from foaming at the mouth, always ready to fight, no wonder she became a lawyer. She got that from their mother, mom was always right.

Noisy Nadine, the second youngest was the reporter, she was the one to go to if you wanted to know something about the family, never could keep secrets, always gossiped, hmmm…also inherited that from their mother.

_The Shrink her_ actual name was Joanna but hey, no word described her as good as shrink. She was sixteen months older than him, and she let him know that, but she was good, the complete opposite of Noisy Nadine, she kept the secrets, the law forced her to do that but she had always kept quiet when he had done something claiming she never saw anything. He knew it wasn't right but Joanna was his favourite sister.

And finally the baby of the family, one who could never get into trouble was Mighty Melissa, in her own sense she was like a superhero, no one could do her wrong, she was never blamed for doing anything wrong, she was the perfect child. She's annoying and thinks that the world owes her. And she is becoming a CGA – Certified General Account. One more year of school left for her.

And only one of them was married, Rabid Rebecca. With three children.

The ringing was what made him anxious, the waiting, the unpredictable ness of this phone call.

"Dr. Sanders office, how may I help you?"

"I was wondering if Dr. Sanders is in"

"Are you a patient of hers?" _maybe Nadine got fired and started working with Joanna, ya like that would ever happen. _

"I'm her brother"

_Good job, throwing around the family card that'll get you where?_

"She's with a patient right now, but if you would like to stay on the line for a few moments"

"Yes please"

_Now what?_

_What do you mean now what, you phoned her didn't you_

_But why, why did I phone her?_

_Because you're hearing voices _

_I am aren't I?_

"Greg? GREG!" his sister yelled into the phone

"Sorry zoned out for a minute there" for some reason he blushed

_How do I tell her the reason I called, that I might be certifiably insane, that would go great in the family Christmas cards_

"Greg, is there a reason why you called?"

"Yes actually there is." he situated himself down on the bench in the locker room, prepared for the long talk they were going to have. "…I need some advice"

"From a shrink – yes I know I'm under The Shrink, or as a sister"

"I'll let you make that decision, how much time do we have?" he probably could sit in here for half an hour with out being noticed, and it would take about that long to confess to her his problems.

"I can manage 45 minutes before my next appointment arrives"

"That's good"

"So where do we start?" he heard some background noise, sounding like she was getting comfortable.

"Where to begin…where to begin"

"I find the beginning always works"

Sure why not lets start there"

"Okay so begin"

"Well you know Sara, the one I showed you the picture of?"

"The picture no one knows you have correct?"

"Now you're making me sound like a stalker"

"I was just asking if you have any others"

"No and yes the one in the picture"

"Okay gotcha"

"And you know how much I talked about her the time you visited?"

"Yep, I calculated you had a crush on her, and you go all defensive on me remember?"

"Vaguely anyways, over time the puppy love developed into something else, I even became a CSI so I could be around her more, so I could see her more, because her coming in once or twice a shift was no longer enough"

"And she had the hots for someone else right?"

"You talk to you're patients like this?"

"No you're family but I'm right aren't I?"

"Ya, how'd you guess?"

"It's usually the case, but I have a feeling this isn't even the tip of the iceberg"

"So anyways, I was fine, had been fine with seeing her everyday, her getting close so I could see what she was doing, I knew that I was getting to her, I was sure of it. And we did started getting close, from her being my mentor, she accepted my offers for drinks and breakfast on most days, and when she couldn't she would arrange for a different time. I thought we were starting to progress in the relationship way"

"Something happened didn't it?"

"A mutual friend was shot, and it was really touch and go for a while, his daughter was even called in. I thought this would be my change you know give her a shoulder to cry on, and she was letting me too, until…" he could no longer talk, his throat was closing in on him

"Until I saw her leaving with the guy to use your terms had the hots for, and the next day she had that _glow,_ and she expects me to go on like I'm fine with it"

"Sorry to backtrack but if she wasn't so beautiful would you two have fallen in love with her?"

"It was because of her looks" he snapped, Joanna knew she'd hit a nerve, but the more angrier a person got, the higher the change of saying something you never would say if you were calm.

"Then why did you"?

"I don't know, from the first moment our eyes met, when our eyes connected I knew right then, that we were connected, I knew that we would be together, even when she pushed me away in the beginning, I knew deep down that she felt the same way and it scared her, and as we got closer, I started to see my life in a whole knew different way. Every morning I wake up and I couldn't wait to see her, to touch her if only in the slightest way and every day the feelings get stronger. It's like she's took the heart from my chest and held it in her hand, and it kept beating, until she squeezed hard enough till it exploded. I would give her my lungs if it meant that just once she would see me in a different way. I thought I'd found my soul mate, the person I wanted to have children with. The person that I just wanted to sit at home with on a Friday night, watch a movie eat popcorn, and kiss her good night at the end of the day. For the rest of my life. For eternity. And no matter what she's done, I can't stop loving her. It's driving me crazy, I can't eat, I can't sleep, I'm miserable all the time, I keep snapping at her, knowing that every snap drives her into his arms. And to top it all off I'm hearing voices"

"Voices?"

"There not telling me to kill myself, its like I have an devil and angel in my head telling me that I messed up, said the wrong thing"

"I've never seen you like this before"

"I guess that's life right?"

"No Greg it's not"

"Well doctor, what do you suggest I do?"

"Coming from the shrink, tell her how you feel"

"I can't do that, I value our friendship too much"

"This advice is coming from me as both a sister and the _shrink, _you need to get away from the lab, not just for a day or a few weeks, but move some where else completely, start fresh"

For the first time since he placed the phone call, he glanced towards the door, and his eyes connected with a pair of eyes.

Sara Sidle was wiping away a stray tear.


	5. Boundless Pleasure

A/N: So I fibbed just a bit, the last chapter came out just a little longer than planned, so this is part one of the chapter, part two will be up shortly as soon as I finish it, and the sequel hopefully by the weekend. Enjoy!

* * *

_Recap_

"This advice is coming from me as both a sister and the _shrink, _you need to get away from the lab, not just for a day or a few weeks, but move some where else completely"

For the first time since he placed the phone call, he glanced towards the door, and his eyes connected with a pair of eyes.

Sara Sidle was wiping away a stray tear.

_Now_

"Before you can't crawl out" Joanna went on not knowing that Greg wasn't paying attention to her, but his focus was on the one person that had started this mess to begin with.

"Greg?" Joanna called a little louder breaking him out of his unknown trance

"I'm going to have to call you back" his phone clicked shut, but he was still unable to move anymore than the little task.

_It all came down to this moment._

_Maybe she hadn't heard anything_

_Then she wouldn't be crying now would she?_

_Well maybe Grissom did something to her that caused her to cry._

_Ya that's it, you really are dumb_

"How much of that did you hear?"

"Long enough to know that you have a picture of me" she let go of the door, and leaned against the row of lockers, crossing her arms and stretching her head so it rested on the locker her back was touching.

_Great the beginning_

"Is what you said true?"

_You could lie and say no, even say it was someone else_

_Why not listen to you're sister and tell her?_

"Ya" he whispered so low, she was sure she imagined his answer, but he nodded his head confirming her assumptions.

"I…I never knew" she wiped away another tear

"If you had would it have made a difference?"

She opened and closed her mouth several times trying to come up with an answer

"I just got my answer"

"How can you ask that?"

Nothing would have changed the way you feel me, you love Grissom and I love you and well so does Grissom so it's not really a contest now is it?"

"I don't know what to say"

"Don't worry about, you're happy and that's all that matters"

"Can we still be friends?"

"I wouldn't want it any other way"

"We still on for our movie fest tomorrow?"

"Sure thing, you bring the popcorn, I'll get the movies"

"Mine or yours?"

_I could say hers and have to sit on a couch that I know he's sat on, possibly even naked_

"Eww, that's disgusting" Sara's shock expression told him something he didn't realize he'd said out loud.

"Sorry lost train of thought there for a moment" he rubbed his temples forcefully hoping to scare his inner demons away at least until she was out of earshot.

"My place at seven" he smiled and stood, just being in the close proximity was intoxicating and he was likely to do something he'd regret.

_Control yourself, she's the boss's woman_

_I'm trying to_

_You need to get out of here_

_I know away from her luscious lips, her silky skin, and smooth hair yes I need to get out of here_

"There's something's I have to do before we get to work, few minutes tops" she wiped her eyes, fixed her hair and took a few calming breaths as she watched him leave. Would it be different if she had known? That was a question she didn't have an answer to.

"Hey Judy, did any mail come for me?"

"Actually this just did" she reached under the desk and pulled out a manila envelope

"Thanks" he smiled his famous charming smile and held the envelope in his hands.

_Finding another job may be not as hard as I thought. _

The envelope held documents what he hoped would take him away, away from something that was tearing his life apart. Something that he should be happy about, but he couldn't do it. So he tore it open, in the middle of the hallway skimming over the documents.

Dear Mr. Sanders blah blah blah your resume is impressive blah blah blah on behalf of the Los Angeles Crime Lab we welcome you to our team. 

_I got it. I actually got it. _

_Fuck I got it

* * *

_

His mood was somber when she showed up, bringing a case of popcorn, they would go through it in time by the third movie. It was when she came into the kitchen, that she noticed the manila envelope and he could care less right now, it was better if she knew it now then when he was gone.

"What's this?" she picked up the envelope and pulled out the contents

_No Sara that's okay, I don't mind you going through my things._

"Something that came in the mail, nothing important"

"It's from Los Angeles Crime Lab"

"I know"

Why do you think I'm an idiot and can't read? 

_Easy bugger, don't fly off the handle just yet, you want the last private moments you spend with her special don't you?_

_She's not making it easy!_

_Breathe my young padawan_

_I'm not anyone's Padawan, get the fuck out of my head Obi Wan now is definitely not the time._

"You're leaving?"

"Ya I guess I am" he watched her as the news began to settle in, first it was shock and then what he feared her angriness.

"Why?"

"After all you've heard me say, you still ask why!"

_Breathe_

_Shove it up your ass!_

"I just thought.."

"You just thought that I would suck it up, go on like nothing happened, that it doesn't kill me everytime he looks at you, calls your name, or gives you the look he thinks no one else could see? I need to escape this hell that I've been living in"

_The gloves are off now_

"I've never seen you like this"

"You know what? I don't give a fuck, I'm tired of pretending that it doesn't hurt"

"How soon do you leave?"

"A few days" she glanced around, sure enough most of his things had been packed up, the boxes waiting by the door. How could she not have seen that before?

"You know I asked Catherine once if you would ever go out on a date with me, and you know what she said?"

"No" she shoved the papers back into the envelope, fearing that if she held onto them for another second they would burn her, in a way they already had.

"Come on take a wild guess"

"I don't know Greg"

"She told me to not tell you it was a date, and I guess hey she was right, you never saw me as anything more than a friend"

"It's not like that"

"How is it not? I mean for years you were after a guy who didn't even see you, until his best friend was shot, and yet you could have been with someone who seen you from the start, so yes it's exactly like that"

"I don't want to end things like this, tell me how to fix it and I will"

"I can't ask you to do that, because you'll end up resenting me" he strode over to theother end of his apartment, seeing her almost in tears was killing him and if he wasn't careful he would be over there wanting to try and comfort her.

_Get her to hate you_

_Why?_

_So it makes leaving that much easier_

_Ya maybe I should but how? Nothing I'm saying seems to get her hating me_

_There is one way_

_You've got to be kidding me_

_Nope, do it. _

"But tell me one thing" he walked closer to her intent on carrying out the plan, "does me standing this close, make you nervous?" he whispered coming to stand less than an inch away from her, her gasping at close he really was.

"No why would it?" she whispered back, her pulse had picked up a notch along with her breathing, so maybe yes he was making her just a tad nervous. She did the unthinkable, she looked into his eyes.

A mere second before he kissed her

And god help her she kissed him back.


	6. No Time For Later

**A/N:** It occurred to me that I hadn't done a song fic in a while, and this song helped a lot, along with a whole bunch of other songs. Got the sequel planned out, so as I said in the last chapter it should be up by the weekend. Saturday or Sunday. The days are moving really quickly.

I've been either hysterical with laughter, or near tears, some fault goes to you guys writing awesome fics, the other goes to I have no clue. I see something I'm almost crying, or laughing (the dancing scene on Clerk 2 trailer). I really dont know. Anways I hope that this wil help me write the sequel. Which just have to type up, got it planned in my head, chapter one anyways. Still havent decided on the conclusion - meaning do they end up together or not.

Yay for me! Enjoy!

* * *

_Recap _

…she looked into his eyes.

A mere second before he kissed her.

And god help her she kissed him back.

_Now_

He kissed with everything he had, all the frustration of him missing his chance, the excitement that he was actually kissing her, and her back. The raw desire that he held special for her, the passion he felt, just everything. With the way he was giving and the way she was taking and giving there is no way she could kiss Grissom like that.

_You're kissing you're boss's girl_

_Exactly so shut it while I can still kiss her_

The kiss ended way too early in his opinion but he didn't want to lead somewhere that he would later regret.

"You could never have kissed Grissom like that" he said proudly, wiping his lips and distancing himself, he didn't have the strength to fight and knew, if she encouraged him in anyway that he would be right back there kissing her senseless, maybe even possibly towards the bedroom. No that couldn't happen.

He was waiting for a response from her but all he got was her touching her swollen lips, and a sense of pride came over, he had been the one to give her that. No one would be the wiser in a few minutes when her lips returned to normal.

"What the hell am I doing?" he asked his apartment, fearing he would get a response out of the person who he wished would just remain silent for the moment.

"I just kissed my boss's girl, and do I regret it? No I don't, it felt pretty damn good. But now I will be forever scared with the kiss, always wanting more, having a taste" he strode over to the kitchen reaching for the cabinet above his fridge where he kept his liquor and pulled out a half empty bottle of JD and poured himself a shot, from a nearby shot glass.

"Cheers" he saluted her and took the shot and waited for the burning sensation to stop.

"Any words from you right now would be helpful" he told her

"What do you want me to say?" she bit back "that it was the best kiss I've ever receieved? Ya it was, does Grissom ever kiss me like that? No he doesn't. What else do you want to know? If I had known things probably wouldn't have been different, I really don't know"

_Score 1 for Sanders, the best kiss she's ever had_

_Score 10 for Grissom, he still had Sara_

_And she's starting to hate you_

_I'm starting to hate myself_

"Do you want me to scream out loud that I love you? That I don't want you to go, What did you think would come from that kiss?" she lashed again

"I wanted to see it if was really worth it, all these years pining after you like I did, that's what I thought and to tell you the truth, I was a fool to waste those years on you"

_Ouch_

_You did it Sanders she hates you now_

_I know she's getting ready to throw something at me_

_So Duck, and be happy that she's hating you, don't you feel better?_

_No_

_Well at least this way she'll be happy that you're leaving_

_Hooray!_

_I'm not believing your Hooray. Do we need to talk?_

_Unfuckinbelievable, my own head asking me if I wanna talk_

_Incoming Duck!_

He moved out of the way at the last second that she through one of his lamps at him

"Do you mind, or should we take this back to you're place so you can destroy your things and not mine?" she put down the object in her hands down.

"This is it Sara, say you're goodbye's, make it good, you won't get another one, and when you leave don't turn around, you don't have the right too"

_Here it comes she's going to give you as many low blows as she can before ripping out you're heart and eating it for breakfast_

_Hey! Maybe Grissom and her will eat it together, wouldn't that be romantic. _

_Awww_

He smiled, because what else was there to do?

"You're a fucking prick"

"No I believe you're fucking a prick"

_Ouch_

"Is this what you wanted, for me to hate you?"

"Why do you?"

"On the verge of"

"Then it's settled goodbye Sara, have a nice life, I hope you all the best with the whole Grissom deal and what not, may you two live in nothing but happiness and peace" he walked over to the door, opening it the windy Vegas night.

"Goodbye Greg, have fun in La La Land"

"Thank you Sara I will" she turned once she was out the door, but he shut the door in her face.

Wonderful Job my boy 

_If it was wonderful then why do I feel despicable? _

_Cause' you've finally developed some balls and you're too proud to get her, telling her off like you did, I'm proud. _

**_I should be out in that driveway  
Stoppin' you  
Tears should be rollin' down  
My cheek  
And I don't know why  
But I'm not fallin' apart like I usually do  
And how the thought of losin' you's  
Not killin me _**

I feel bad  
That I can stand here strong,  
Cold as stone  
Seems so wrong, I can't explain it  
Maybe it's just I've cried so much  
I'm tired and I'm numb, baby I hate it  
I feel bad  
That I don't feel bad

**_I could let myself be angry over  
Wasted time  
And sad about just throwin' love away  
Yeah, I almost wish my heart  
Was breaking  
But I can't lie  
All I want to do is turn the page  
_**

_**I feel bad  
That I can stand here strong,  
Cold as stone  
Seems so wrong, I can't explain it  
Maybe it's just I've cried so much  
I'm tired and I'm numb, baby I hate it  
I feel bad  
That I don't feel…

* * *

**_

It had been a week since Greg had left, and still Sara ever chance she got without being suspicious drove past his place, having some small hope that just maybe he hadn't moved. But he had, she's seen the moving trucks, moving some new tenant in. She kept asking what she was doing, on the drive back every time.

It was officially he was gone, and she had some thing she wanted to get off her chest.

"Hey Gil, it's me, I need to see you"

"_How about my place ten minutes"_

"Okay" she hung up the phone before he could say he loved her

"You seemed a little shaky on the phone" Gil Grissom stepped back from his apartment door, to allow his girlfriend entrance, her disheveled hair, and her puffy eyes had becoming something familiar with her appearance, something quite unlike her.

"I need to talk with you about something, that I don't know who else I could talk to about"

"Anything" he motioned her to his couch and she curled up, leg under her as she prepared to confess just about everything to him

"I was the last one to see him, and I said some pretty hurtful things"

"Why'd you say?"

"I'd rather not say"

"I want to know, you're my girlfriend, please tell me"

"Why? Why am I your girlfriend, did you know that Greg loved me with everything that he was, and was going to make his move, is that why you finally accepted me?"

"Why would you say such a thing? Where is this coming from?"

"Is it true, answer me truthfully"

_He couldn't._

* * *

"Ah Mr. Sander's we weren't expecting you for another few days" Mr. Norton approached the younger man, and shook hands 

"Thought I might come in early, get a little caught up on the layout and the such" he was in a suit, a suit that someone once said he looked like a professional in

"I'm impressed"

_You should be I'm the one in the suit after all_

"I aim to please" he had cured the voices or so he thought

"Well feel free to look around, meet a few people, wish I could stay but this crime lab is always busy"

"I understand just point me into the right direction"

He was finally escaping something he had believed in for so long, and it felt pretty damn good.

* * *

**A/N:** Don't own I Feel Bad by Rascal Flatts. Or Greg, Sara, CSI, CBS, Jorja Fox or Eric Szmanda. I suddenly feel depressed. 


End file.
